Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
