i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
