there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize