While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I deserve this hangover.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize