the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
