worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
