Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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