I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
