My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Your cock deserves a montage
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
