It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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