I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
