i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
