i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
