He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
