she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
