I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
