I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
