so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
