Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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