You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My life is pants optional.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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