im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
