I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
