I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize