Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm passing your future prison.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
