no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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