But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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