I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
