im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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