I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
