so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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