just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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