Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
