im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
