The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
