Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize