george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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