ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
