you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
