Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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