drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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