so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
