He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
and she was petting her beer can
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
