This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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