She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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