3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
