It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
