Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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