You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
