I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize