Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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