Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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