Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
