just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
