So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
