haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
