i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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