It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
