i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
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