don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize