ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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