What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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