Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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