is your mom at the bar?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
