We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
