I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
