they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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