out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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