So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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