I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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