I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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