I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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