i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
