Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
try to milk me bitch
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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