Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
