i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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