hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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