So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
