I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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