her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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